Chaffing... Moving more has it's downsides - TMI?

This might be classified as TMI (too much information) for some people, but I'm going to share anyway.  I currently have a chaffing problem and it hurts.  I rode 32 miles today on a pretty challenging course (one long, never ending climb...) and noticed some saddle irritation around mile 25ish.  There is a lot going on down there when you are on a bike fore that long.  There is the motion of your legs spinning, the pressure of yourself in the saddle, the rocking motion that comes with going up and down hill, the side to side as you try to adjust for a more comfortable or less compressing position, etc.  Your bike shorts are super important in helping to minimize any discomfort or heaven forbid, injury.  I have been wearing these particular shorts for the better part of two years (although only 1 of which I was doing any real riding) and never had this issue.  I also had the foresight to use a little bag balm in my saddle region prior to going out today also!

Yet I sit here now, with a chaffing problem.  Walking now sorta hurts.  The thought of getting on a bike again - pretty repulsive.  I feel like I should go buy some diaper rash cream - that's good for chaffing right?

In regards to my "move more" resolution, I'm doing pretty good.  So good that I have a rash from it, haha.

February is half over?!

I know, I know, February is the shortest month, so it goes by quick.  But what happened to February??  I mean really now?!  Quick update on resolutions and life:

• I'm reading the Mistborn series which came recommended by the boyfriend.  I'm not halfway through as I should be to keep up with my "book a month" goal, but I'm sure I'll catch up!
• I've missed the last 2 weeks of training rides for my metric century - one due to weather and cancellation of the ride, and this weekend as I had my mom visiting and didn't want to miss time with her while I drove an hour to the site to ride for 3 hours to drive an hour back.  I have started spinning again in an attempt to put some "miles on my tires."
• I've also not been cooking as much recently.  Mostly due to visitors, Bailey's surgery, and overall lack of interest/desire to make something.

Outside of the resolution update, life is pretty good.  Work is just okay which is starting to get old.  I'm hoping that I can get a fifth wind of "caring" and really get back to liking what I do.  I'm feeling pressured to make life decisions sooner than I want to make them which is adding to the stress of the situation.  

I've been feeling a bit "dull" recently.  Sort of bored with myself.  I'm not sure what that means, but it's like if I were to meet myself at a party/event, I wouldn't want to hang out with me because I'm boring.  Not a good feeling.  Not sure how to undo that or fix it or what, but I'm getting a lot of negative energy coming from my own thoughts in the last few months and I really don't like it.  Hard to be happy when you don't like who you're with all the time.  So goes the struggle.

Beyond that - it's each day as it comes and a making the best of the place I am with the people I have.  The place is awesome and the people are outstanding - the rest is just my attitude which, coincidentally, is 100% in my control. 

Somethings I Need to Work On

Has anyone noticed how when you get into a new relationship there quickly become dozens of small things that all of a sudden are really big things?  Small things being, how you like to load the dishwasher, or eat certain foods, or coordinate your day, or any other seemingly insignificant item.  Then when you pair it with a new person who does things just slightly differently, you realize just how much you liked things the way you liked them? You also start to notice things about yourself that you didn't realize were a part of who you are almost like you are learning yourself as you are learning someone else.

I have a new man friend.  I really like this gentleman.  He's funny, smart, very giving, and genuine in ways I didn't know that I wasn't.  He is a bit more type A than I am about the way he has his life set up.  He tries, oh gosh does he try, to let me feel perfectly included in his life.  He's a wonderful communicator.  He's open with me, direct without being cutting, and as I said - genuine.  We've had very few moments of tension between us which is really nice.  In the short time we've been dating, I have learned a few things about myself.  Some he's unknowingly brought to my attention, others he does with a bit more conscience effort.

Somethings I Need to Work On:

• Accepting feedback about trivial things, because they are after all, trivial.
• Accepting apologies from someone who gives them genuinely.  I get weird and clam up and quiet when he apologizes to me.  It's almost like I've never really had someone apologize and mean it before.  This feels different.  I'm not good at this.
• Being open with him about what I'm thinking and feeling.  I tend to gloss over.  I tend to bottle up and think nothing is a big deal until is a big deal.  I internalize.  
• Asking for help.  I hate asking for help.  My life. My burdens. My problem.  Mine.  I'll help you with whatever you need, but you'll never help me because you won't know I need it until I'm crying on the bathroom floor (Brazil flashback... ouch)
• Sharing my life - I feel boring with him.  Boring because it's always us doing his things, sharing his world, living his life.  I feel like I've become a willing accessory in his life because of the SOLE fact that I've not tried to include him in my life more. (Queue diatribe about my life transitions and having no roots and thus no history to share, no favorite place, no favorite activity, just a stream of endless change which is dull)
• Thinking I'm worthy.  I'm not great at this.  I should be better, I need to be better.

Any tips are much appreciated on how to accomplish any of the above.  I need to do better.

February Resolution Update

February is turning out to be a busy month!  My special man friend and I have a lot going on it seems.  My mom is coming to visit! My Bailey girl had surgery and started her 12 week long recovery process - she hates being crated...  Despite all the craziness, I'm trying to stay committed to my resolutions:  One new recipe a month, one book a month, eat clean/move more/crunch often.

Today I'll update you on February's new recipe!  I tried a citrus and chili salmon dish that came out pretty decent. My boyfriend (gulp - we call each other boyfriend/girlfriend now...) brought over a nice salmon fillet and a large lemon from his lemon tree to help me try my hand on this dish.   I'd never used fennel before and actually had to watch a YouTube video on how to cut fennel.  It was pretty simple turns out :)

Looking pretty on a dish of lemons and blood oranges!

The recipe calls for 3/4 cup of olive oil which seemed like way to much.  As I poured it over the top of the fish and lemon/orange slices, it felt like it was about 200x more oil than was really necessary.  So, if I can recommend anything to anyone who may try this - use less oil! Also, the recipe calls for a specific type of chili or substitute jalapeno.  I used jalapeno as that was easily found at the grocery store, but I was very underwhelmed by the flavor it added.  I think the heavy layer of oil that was covering the fruit and chili really just muted everything.  It was... very light in both citrus and chili flavor. 

Paired with some pan roasted veggies for a colorful meal!

I had a craving for some really crunchy veggies while I was at work and knew I had to stop by the grocery to pick up fresh dill and blood oranges anyway, so I added some broccoli and Brussels sprouts to my basket as well.  I coated a skillet with some olive oil, added a chopped clove of garlic and sauteed the garlic until brown.  I cut the broccoli into large pieces and the Brussels sprouts cut in half.  I sprayed them all with olive oil also, to be sure they were evenly covered and tossed them into the skillet.  I let them sit until they started to brown, then tossed every so often until the broccoli was showing signs of browning on the majority of the stalks - I love a crunch cooked veggie!  A few moments before the veggies were done, I took about a forth cup of water and tossed it into the pan also.  This immediately steamed which I think makes the veggies just a touch softer on the inside.  Nothing worse than an under cooked inside of a Brussels sprout.  Toss some sea salt in as well and then enjoy!

So the veggies were awesome if I do say so myself.  The fish was really nicely cooked but not super flavorful.  The citrus and chili came off dull and flat vs sharp and spicy.  So - probably not worth repeating, but happy I gave this a try!

More on the other resolutions later this month (when there is more to report!)