Monday, April 07, 2008

Be Careful What You Wish For...

What do you do when what you've been dreaming about and wanting for such a long time, actually has a serious chance of coming to pass? How do you protect yourself from further hurt? How do you keep yourself open for a change of heart? There are a lot of questions that I was able to avoid when this was just in the realm of desire, but not in the realm of actuality, reality sets in and questions everything. I won't say no, I can't say no. I just hope this time around I sidestep the painful goodbyes.

India's never felt so close, or far as it does right now. Time pushes onward, bringing me second by second closer to closure or perhaps an open door. I want to question, but I don't want to assume. I want to know, but I don't want to share. I don't want to be vulnerable, but I do want to understand. How can getting what you're hearts been wanting for so long feel so foreign and scary?

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