Catching up and Slowing Down

Flamboyant is straight ahead! 

Just a funny sign I saw in my neighborhood to get this post going.  Notice that it is nice and sunny out and there is a palm like tree on my right... it is SUMMER here in Brazil in case you forgot I am in the Southern Hemisphere.

So my last post was a bit sad, I know that.  For anyone who has lived abroad for a long time you probably can relate to a lot of what I was/am feeling regarding loosing myself and my personality.  Each day is different, some days are awesome and some days aren't.  In 8 months when I am packing up to head on to the next adventure - I'm sure Brazil will have a very special place in my heart.  Until then I suppose!!

So first funny story to share with everyone is the awesome story of how my electricity got cut.  My first experience living in my own apartment, on my own, with my real job in Chicago started out a bit dark.  For the first 2 weeks Mark and I lived in our cute little apartment in Wrigglyville, we had no electricity.  We created a web of extension cords that ran through the apartment to numerous lamps to give us some light.  The best part was when we had to carry a floor lamp into the tiny bathroom with us so we could see what we were doing.  Ahh good times.

In my naivete I thought that must be the only time I will ever live without electricity (excluding power outages and voluntary trips to 3rd world nations and camping).  I was wrong.  I came home from work last week to a dark apartment.  No electricity.  What?!?  I am confused.  There were lights in the hallway and the reception, why is there no light in my apartment?  I scurry downstairs where I give a puppy dog sad face to the front desk person who knows exactly why I am there.  He holds up a piece of paper and says "corta de energia"  Cut the energy.  Umm - yes, I can see that but why?  

You haven't paid your electricity bill in 3 months.

My electricity bill??  You mean the stack of 3 months of bills you gave me 3 days ago, on a Saturday?  Those bills?  The ones I had 1 day to pay (Received on Saturday afternoon, cannot pay anything on Sunday, Monday is the only day, Tuesday electricity is cut)

I get upset but know it isn't this nice young man's fault so I ask to talk to someone who can help me. He calls the manager of the hotel.  Our conversation goes something like this (he speaks English):

A: "Hi Douglas, it's Allison.  I don't have electricity."

D: "Yes Allison, I told you you must pay the bills or else they will cut your electricity."
A: "Yes, well I need to receive those bills to pay them and my company has them now and will pay them ASAP.  What can we do today to get me energy"

D: "You must pay your bills.  After 5 hours you will have energy.  There are no other options."

A: "I cannot pay these bills today Douglas.  So that is not an option.  What is another solution?"

D: "I told you, the only solution is for you to pay.  I cannot help you.  I cannot manage your apartment Allison."

A: "Isn't your job building manager? Don't you get paid to manage my apartment?  Can't you just give me keys to another room for the night?"  (I live in a long term hotel-esq set up)

D: "I cannot help you.  You must pay the bill.  Call the owner of the apartment.  I cannot help you."

(I am livid at this point)

A: "Fine.  What is his number?  I will call him."

D: "Pass the phone to the receptionist person.  You must pay.  I cannot help you.  I don't understand my job title or responsibilities.  I will continue to yell at you and be unhelpful - GRRRR"

A:  "FINE!"

I am now crying because I hate confrontation. I am on my phone calling my secretary, my manager, and my plant manager to figure out what to do.  Thankfully Unilever is an organization filled with highly talented, and problem solving people who care about other people.  They sorted it out.  Of course this was not until I grab the information from the receptionist and scream.

"FUCK.  I HATE THIS GOD DAMN COUNTRY!"

True awesome American right here... Sorry fellow Americans for being such a poor example of who we really are... They just pushed me over the edge. 

Here was the great - other apartment I ended up sleeping in

Yes, that is an orange couch.  You cannot see them, but it was pretty stained.

The bar stools match the sofa!

Ok - enough grumpy stuff - on to THANKSGIVING! 

I wanted to celebrate Thanksgiving despite not having the opportunity to be with my amazing family back in the US.  Fortunately for me I have a small yet very awesome group of friends here in Brazil who were willing to celebrate with me.  We made turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and a pumpkin pie.  Everything turned out SO good!!  I was very proud of my first attempt at a Thanksgiving feast!

Sandra and I went grocery shopping for all the ingredients where I found this.  Spray-able liquid salt.  Lacy Morris, this is for you to compliment your spray butter popcorn!

The Feast!!  It was such good turkey.  And the salad has palm hearts in it which are really good!

Camila, Carolina, me, and Sandra after enjoying our meal!

Carol, Kaka, Camila, and Sandra all digging into the pumpkin pie!  Notice how they all have saved the point?  Yes, the Smith family tradition migrates to Brazil!

Doesn't it look amazing?  Oh and it was!!

After dinner we all jammed out to Guitar Hero for a while until the food coma set in (or maybe wine coma) and we finally called it a night!

This year I am thankful for sooo soo many things namely:

• A family that supports me in all my endeavors no matter where I am or what I am doing.
• My amazing friends from NYC, Chicago, India, Ecuador, CO, and Purdue who keep me laughing, keep me grounded, and keep me dreaming dreams that are too big for just one person
• The opportunity to work internationally fulfiling a dream I've had for a long time including the chance to become bilingual
• My health and my body who hasn't let me down in anything I've wanted to do. 
• My new small family of friends here in Brazil who have to put up with the Allison that breaks down all the time and gets frustrated and irritated

Life really is pretty amazing, even down here on the other side of the world.  Life is good.

It's Been a While...

So here are a few photos from my whirlwind trip to NYC where I was lucky enough to see Lacy, Caitlin, and a handful of great SCMPs!  It was a crazy few days, but worth all 18 hours sitting in coach, and another 4 hours in a car to get to and from the airport.  Super bummed to have missed some friends, but there is always next time!  Christmas cannot come soon enough.  I hadn't realized how much of who I am is lost in Brazil.  It was great to be reacquainted with myself, even if for just a few days.

 

Caitlin, Lacy, and I dining out at the Standard Grill - amazing time with my NYC ladies

 

The stunning Lacy Morris!  Looking HAWT as always!

A product of Lacy's skills.  Hair, make-up and outfit all her.  I just smile. 

Miss this girl so much!

So it is a bit cryptic to say that I lose so much of myself in Brazil and I probably need to explain that a bit.  I struggle with sharing these types of things because I know I am not at all unique in feeling this way.  And because I am not unique in feeling this way, I should be able to get through it (everyone else can, so can I).   My plant manager as well as my direct manager have both done long terms abroad (plant manager was over 3 years in the UK and Germany and my line manager did 3 years in the UK).  As such, everything I feel, they understand yet somehow that doesn't make it easier.  If anything, it makes it worse because they know what I am feeling and they seem to either not care and choose to not do anything about it, or they don't realize the severity of the situation.

I feel as though I have lost my personality down here.  I was talking to one of my colleagues today (in Portuguese) and I was feeling a bit like my semi-bubbly self and he is always super patient with me and speaks really slowly when we talk so I enjoy his company.  We were getting a coffee and another colleague was there also and I was stumbling with some of the language and my friend was helping me through some parts.  I laughed and turned to the other guy and said something to the effect of  "you should have heard me when I first got here, this is SOO much better!"  And my friend says "yes you are so much better, it is like you are a different person."

And he is SO right.  For four months I've been living in an isolated shell.  For four months I've not been able to tell a joke, laugh with a group of people, enjoy lunchtime conversation, feel at ease when I am walking around in fear that someone might talk to me.  (I was waiting for the bus to work and a man asked me if I catch the bus there everyday.  I responded, yes because I do.  He then started asking me something about if I knew if a bus came by that went to some place that I didn't know and I apologized and said that I don't really speak Portuguese and I am not that familiar with the buses.  He got all upset because "this guy over here is crazy, and now you don't speak Portuguese" and storms off...)

We have a new trainee (SCMP - but Brazilian version) at work who started about a month ago.  He is 100 times further along than I am in everything.  He and my supply leader sit together and laugh at lunch, he has all the operators and other people calling him and asking him questions and he is leading huge group activities (like plant wide activities).  All I've done is give a four slide presentation in Portuguese and not vomit on myself.  I've been here 4 months.  He's been here 4 weeks.  I have no friends.  He has built relationships with every single management person and operator on site.  I can't get any time with my manager.  He chats her up daily.  It is unfair to compare and I know that.  But no matter what I do (succeed or fail) it is all overshadowed by my Portuguese skills.  I can't be as amazing as this other person because I am so far outside of my element it is scary.  I hate relying on that fact as an excuse for not performing.  It kills me that my projects aren't progressing in the ways that they should because of something so... so... silly.  It drives me NUTS that I can't just get people together and talk through problems and drive change.  

It is hard to not want to pack it up and go home. It is hard to wait for that magical 6 month mark where things seem to get better in every rotation.

What I wouldn't do to be funny and happy again...

First time I cried in Brazil - week 2

Second time I cried in Brazil - month 4

Still believe me when I tell you I am happy in Brazil?

A weekend at the beach - Florianopolis

Pria Moli - the "see and be seen" beach. 

Waves crashing, island in the distance

Catching some sun - don't worry SPF 70 is on... though I still got burned :( (Mom, I TRIED!!)

Sun setting on the lake inside the island, outside my hostel.

Hostel, complete with hammocks

All cleaned up from the beach, just enjoying the sunset

The lake, inside the island

Hammock!  Love just hanging out.

Small boats that would go out on the lake to fish and take

So here are a few photos of my weekend trip to Florianopolis, an island off the southern coast of Brazil.  It is pretty unique because the city is actually half on the island, and half on the mainland continent and is connected via a bridge.  The island is actually sizable as the airport is on the island half of the city.  In the center of the island there is a lake which is freshwater.  So it is fun to be able to swim in the fresh water or the salt water, or both on the same day!

One event that I didn't have my camera with me for was sand dune boarding.  It was a lot of fun, but I got sand in places you never want sand.  Essentially it is snowboarding down these giant sand dunes.  I tried doing it standing up in true snowboarding fashion yet continued to take falls into the sand and coat myself evenly with the rough stuff.  So I swapped my board for a sand dune sled type thing and had much more fun going down on that.  However, going down is not enough fun to warrant the huge climbs back up.  I was done after about 5-6 goes. 

I also applied liberal amounts of sunscreen (SPF 70) yet still managed to get burned.  Lacy calls me porcelain skinned and I was hoping to become normal colored, but I'm not... still porcelain in some places and now lobster colored in others.  I don't understand... SPF 70, applied like 3-4 times and immediately after getting out of the water or as soon as I start to feel too hot... what am I doing wrong??