Life is better Shared

Is it harder to not have someone or not to be with the person you have? This Sunday was Valentine's Day. I am a full supporter of any holiday which encourages copious chocolate consumption and hand holding. Hands down, I love Valentine's Day. A day to celebrate love and commitment or just spontaneous good fun is totally okay by me! However, it did get me thinking about which is harder - not having someone (as has been my trend for the last three years) or not getting to be with the one you have... which I sort of experienced in high school. What I've decided is that neither is easy and both have their own unique set backs so it's a bit unfair to compare them.

That being said - I think I would still select not being with the person I have over not having someone to be with. I'm of the opinion that having someone is better than not having someone. What I have found is that I do better in life when that part of my life works also. Life is better shared. Life is better when you get to bare witness to another person's life and they get to bare witness to yours.

When I signed up to be in the supply chain program with Unilever I knew I was signing up for many years of moving and traveling. At the time it was a dream come true - an opportunity to travel, explore different parts of the globe all while getting to work with a great company. What i didn't realize was just how lonely it could be moving all the time. I mean this both from a relationship and friendship point of view. Finding friends is hard, finding a relationship is hard - it's just hard.

I've never been the crazy dating type. Sure I've had a few boyfriends, a few more first dates, but really summed up - I never really was chased or courted significantly. Now that I know I am moving along again in a few months, I've lost a lot of motivation to look for something more. Which is odd - every time I move I almost feel like if I don't find someone in the first few months, I've lost my window of opportunity. So I don't even like to make myself available, and I can't realistically complain about not being courted if I'm not letting myself be open to it.

So as I start preparing for the next stage in my journey with the big blue U and my next adventure in life, I can only hope that next year I'll at least have someone I will be wishing I was with, if I'm not lucky enough to be with them. Next Valentine's Day maybe I will get to share my chocolate and have a hand to hold. If not, well I've managed this long.

Lonely is becoming comfortable.